Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sunday Night , Crisis Night

Sunday night at 10:30 is my least favorite time of the week. As any mother knows that is crisis time and no amount of planning or prayer will save you.

Late Sunday night is always when your kids have a paper due and the printer is out of ink. Laundry that absolutely has to be done and ready for school tomorrow gets presented to you along with a snarky remark about "last weeks turn around time.  Forms that require you to locate your reading glasses and insurance card must be filled out and cash money (something I never have) is needed for a field trip.

I haven't googled the statistics but I would venture to guess that more children become ill and feverish at bedtime on Sunday nights than any other time of the week.  Children that are perfectly healthy and able to play video games after dinner are at deaths door hours later. I have never known a child to ever be sick on a Friday.  The throwing up and fever couldn't possibly begin at a reasonable hour because that would mean you had time to contact a sitter or make arrangements for the next day.

As a added bonus apparently it is some kind of rule among the children that they must throw up on as many things as possible.  The comforter, the sheets, the pillows and the rug are all fair game.  A child can hit fifty free throws in a row but can't hit the trash can when they are sick.

Sunday nights are when you realize you are out of bread, milk or both.  There is nothing in the fridge that your child could possibly pack in their lunch that they will eat which leads to the writing of the 3.00 dollar check for lunch money because again you have no cash.

Poster board sales go through the roof on Sunday nights.  Not the cheap kind from Walmart but the expensive ones from CVS that cost more than your wedding album.  Since the need for this poster assignment was not revealed to you until the 10 p.m. Fox news was on you are forced to pay the high price in the name of the poster emergency. Poster emergencies account for the majority of mental breakdowns of women between the ages of 40 and 48. Not menopause, not infidelity,but poster emergencies.

All of these Sunday night escapades will find you with your hair in a clip and mismatched pajamas.  As you enter CVS in this stylish ensemble you will inevitably run into the super mom in your child's class.  Dressed to the nines she will cheerfully inform you she just stopped by to pick up her Christmas cards because she always has hers done by Halloween to avoid the last minute rush.  When she sees the poster board she will inform you that her angel did hers last week and try to make you feel sorry for her for having such a Type A personality child.

You will contemplate murdering her but come to your senses just in time to realize that this outfit will be in your mug shot and your arrest will mean your little angel will not have their poster board.  While going to jail would as the kids say "suck" nothing is worse than hearing your child say "and it was all your fault!!" Better to be known at the next PTA meeting as a convicted felon than the mom who didn't have an extra poster board.

So you head home with bread, milk and a poster board and you realize that Sunday is the beginning of the week.  You have six days to relax until they will take ill, try to print a paper or tackle a poster project.

No comments: