Thursday, March 3, 2011

Pantry Fraud

Interested in building a clubhouse out of empty boxes? If so , my pantry is the place to go. Don't be fooled as I was into thinking those bright, colorful tempting boxes were filled with food. Oh no! they are all empty!

I ventured to the kitchen last night for a bedtime snack and thought my choices were plentiful. However, after pulling out eight empty boxes I realized I had become a victim of pantry fraud.

Pantry fraud occurs when the lazy people in your household take the last (insert your favorite snack here) and don't throw out the empty box. You may be fooled for days thinking you are resisting the Pop Tarts only to find the box was empty the entire time. That sweet snack that you were waiting to munch on until you had a really stressful day and deserved the treat, gone.

Over the years I have threatened to stop grocery shopping until I could take an accurate inventory, vowed to stop buying snacks and promised to only buy fruit. You can't commit fruit fraud. It is either in the bowl or it's not.

Last night I had three fits and a bad spell and threatened to take the empty box and make a weapon out of it like they do in prison, and then poke them with it while they are trying to text. You have to hit them where it hurts. Fruit was obviously not enough of a threat but interrupting their texting put them on high alert.

I don't ask for much. I realize they are never going to change the toilet paper roll, that they are never going to carry their laundry upstairs without being hounded, and that trash day will always come as a complete surprise. But don't mess with my Pop Tarts...a woman can only take so much.

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