Monday, December 20, 2010

Potato chip pinata

Just when you think your children have reached a certain level of maturity the cold hard reality of sibling rivalry rears its ugly head.

At one point during our 12 hour trip to Tennessee Ashley asked Michael to pass her a bag of chips. For normal human beings this would be a simple request. But for children born of the same mother apparently it is quite a challenge.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Ashley is twisting and grunting and I can't imagine what could be happening. I thought she might be having some kind of spell so I looked into the rear view mirror to investigate.

That's when I notice Michael holding the chips over her head and out of her reach. He was swinging the grocery bag containing the chips in a large circular pattern. Ashley was attempting to grab the bag that he was just keeping out of her reach.

As every mother knows once you have a child you develop the ability to see the future. Especially where diaster is involved. I had a psychic vision of my van covered in Lays potato chips and a WWF wrestling match to follow.

I had one child on the verge of profanity and the other taking entirely too much delight in the torment of his sister.

I tapped the brakes and shouted that if I didn't start to feel the Christmas love in this van immediately I was going to turn off the radio and start singing Bible songs. I have a particular one from vacation bible school 1999 that involves clapping. It is my most lethal and effetive threat.

The potato chip pinata stopped spinning and Ashley was able to resist shouting all the creative names she had on the tip of her tongue to describe her brother.

Harmony returned to the Town and Country van and I resisted my urge to break in to song

I pray they won't be fighting in the car as they drop me off at the nursing home. If so, let's just hope I still remember the bible song.

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