Friday, April 5, 2013

Massage Tension

It didn't say anything in the brochure but I am assuming it is frowned upon when you fart during a massage.

At least that was the assumption I was going on last night as I mastered the technique of clenching the lower portion of my body while trying to get my $60 worth of relaxation out of the upper half of my body.

I blame those darn people that keep encouraging me to eat healthy.  All I hear from my "healthy" friends is that I  should eat more salad, fruit and vegetables.  If it won't t spoil then it isn't healthy for me.  Personally I don't think my Oreos should be persecuted for their longevity but whatever.

Even the girls at work that could have been counted on a few months ago for a Wendy's run are bringing salads for lunch.  The days of a cheeseburger and fries for lunch are over.

The thing these "healthy" people don't tell you is that when you fill your body with all this good food you begin to produce gases.  Those gases are expelled from your body.  If you are over forty they apparently don't give you much warning.

So last night as I begin to undress and prepare for my massage my lunch and dinner salads began to perform their magic and make my life miserable.

Of course the massage therapist wanted me to start the session face down which meant there would be no line of defense between her and my healthy life style side effects except a thin sheet.  As she began to massage my aching shoulders I began the balance of relaxing the upper body muscles and tightening the lower body muscles.

After 60 minutes of this I was exhausted but no "exhaust" had slipped out.  I had made it!  I thanked Kelly (who was amazing) and she left while I dressed and relaxed if you know what I mean.  Let's just say I am sure LaVida is thankful I was the last appointment of the night.

I went home and promptly had four Oreos.  Apparently preservatives in food help preserve your dignity as well as their shelf life.

Long live the Oreo!!


Denise D Hammond, CGFM-Retired said...

LOL. The older I get the fewer vegetables, especially raw, that my body will tolerate. I have weight watcher friends that I can hardly stand to be around, what with all their undisgeted fiber escaping.

Anonymous said...

Undеniably bеlіevе that ωhich yοu stated.
Yоur faѵoritе rеason seemed tо be on the net the simplеst thіng to be аωаre οf.
I sаy tο you, I ԁefіnitely gеt annοуeԁ whіle people think
about worгiеs that they јust don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

my weblog; bathroom fixtures

Anonymous said...

Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you're using? I'm going to start my
own blog in the near future but I'm having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something completely unique.
P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

my page :: ミュウミュウ長財布

Anonymous said...

Everyone loves what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and reporting!
Keep up the amazing works guys I've included you guys to our blogroll.

Here is my weblog ... ミュウミュウ

Anonymous said...

Mу relativеs all the tіme say that
I am killing my time here аt web, but I
κnow I am gеtting know-how every dау by reading ѕuch plеasant articles.

Also vіsit my web page; дешевые авиабилеты

Anonymous said...

Hi therе Dear, aгe yоu truly viѕitіng thіs sіte οn a regulаr basis, іf so afteг that you
ωill definіtelу take plеasant knοw-hοw.

Му ωeb blog :: бронирование авиабилетов

Anonymous said...

Hello there! Quick question that's completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I'm
trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this issue.
If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!

Also visit my site トリーバーチ財布

Anonymous said...

Hello there! This post couldn't be written much better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I'll send this article to him.

Fairly certain he'll have a great read. I appreciate you for sharing!

My web-site :: ミュウミュウ長財布

Anonymous said...

Hі there, I diѕcοveгed your sіte bу means of Goοgle whilst
searching for a comparablе topiс, your
web site got herе up, it seems good. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, simply became alert to your weblog via Google, and found that it's truly informative.
I'm going to be careful for brussels. I'll be grаteful іf you happen to pгоceed this іn futuгe.
A lot of otheг pеople will probably be benefited from your
writing. Cheеrs!

Alsο viѕit mу weblog

Anonymous said...

I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure
whether this post is written by him as no one else know
such detailed about my problem. You're wonderful! Thanks!

Look into my page: miu miu 財布

Anonymous said...

Its like you learn my thoughts! You seem to know so much about this,
such as you wrote the ebook in it or something. I believe that
you could do with some % to force the message home a bit, however instead of that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.

Feel free to visit my blog post トリーバーチ

Anonymous said...

Thаnk you for any othеr еxcellent aгtiсle.

Where else may anybody get that κіnd
оf іnfo in such an idеal approаch οf
writing? ӏ haѵe a presentation subsequеnt week, and I'm on the search for such info.

my blog: Москва-калининград авиабилеты авианова

Anonymous said...

Hi! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate
a captcha plugin for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having problems finding one?

Thanks a lot!

My web-site :: miu miu 財布

Anonymous said...

I will right away grab your rss feed as I can not in
finding your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
Do you've any? Kindly permit me recognise in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.

Feel free to visit my site; ミュウミュウ財布

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of the most important information for
me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to
remark on some general things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is really nice : D.

Good job, cheers

Here is my site :: トリーバーチ財布

Anonymous said...

Good way of telling, and fastidious post to take facts about my
presentation topic, which i am going to deliver in university.

my website :: e-cigs

Anonymous said...

What's up colleagues, its great post about tutoringand fully defined, keep it up all the time.

My page :: エアジョーダン

Anonymous said...

I am sure this post has touched all the internet people, its really really pleasant article on building up new webpage.

Also visit my blog post クロエ店舗

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure exactly why but this web site is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end? I'll check back later and see if the problem
still exists.

Review my webpage - モンスター ヘッドホン

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the good writeup. It in truth was a enjoyment account it.
Look advanced to far delivered agreeable from you!
However, how can we communicate?

Here is my page; エアジョーダン

Anonymous said...

Excellent blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?

I'm hoping to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost on everything.

Would you advise starting with a free platform like Wordpress or go for a paid option?
There are so many options out there that I'm totally overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Appreciate it!

My web site; エアジョーダン

Anonymous said...

Keep this going please, great job!

Check out my site プラダバッグ

Anonymous said...

You are so awesome! I don't believe I've read through anything like this before.
So good to discover someone with a few genuine thoughts on this subject matter.
Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This site is
one thing that's needed on the internet, someone with some originality!

Feel free to surf to my blog ... シャネルバッグ

Anonymous said...

I don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don't
know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous
blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!

Also visit my blog post air jordan

Anonymous said...

What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable experience about unpredicted

Feel free to visit my site:

Anonymous said...

I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do
it for you? Plz reply as I'm looking to construct my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. thank you

My homepage: monster ヘッドホン

Anonymous said...

Link exchange is nothing else except it is just placing the other person's blog link on your page at proper place and other person will also do similar for you.

Feel free to visit my page :: ジョーダン スニーカー

Anonymous said...

Excellent blog here! Also your website loads up fast!
What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

Look at my page プラダバッグ

Anonymous said...

Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of.

I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider
worries that they just don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Also visit my blog: シャネル アウトレット

Anonymous said...

Wonderful items from you, man. I have consider your stuff previous to and you are
just too fantastic. I really like what you have obtained here, really like what you are stating and the best way during
which you say it. You are making it entertaining and you continue to care for to stay it
smart. I can't wait to read far more from you. This is actually a great web site.

Also visit my web site - ロレックスコピー

Anonymous said...

Great beat ! I wish to apprentice even as you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a weblog site?
The account aided me a applicable deal. I have been tiny bit familiar
of this your broadcast provided vivid transparent idea

My web-site; サングラス レイバン

Anonymous said...

For latest news you have to go to see internet and on the web I found this site as a most excellent web
site for most recent updates.

Here is my web page

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I simply would like to give you a big thumbs up for your excellent
info you have right here on this post. I am coming back to your website for more soon.

My web site :: ルイヴィトン

Anonymous said...

You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this
topic to be actually something that I think I would never understand.
It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your
next post, I'll try to get the hang of it!

Here is my weblog ... オークリーサングラス

Anonymous said...

Hey! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where
I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?

I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having difficulty finding one?
Thanks a lot!

Here is my page;

Anonymous said...

This paragraph will help the internet visitors for creating new weblog or even a weblog from
start to end.

Also visit my webpage ... プラダ

Anonymous said...

When I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify
me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive four emails
with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from
that service? Appreciate it!

Feel free to visit my weblog :: ecigarettes

Anonymous said...

Projector Privacy screens By Da-lite Privacy screens

my web site; Panasonic PT-AE7000 review