Wednesday, March 20, 2013

If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother

Please pass me a Xanax and a glass of wine.

My mother is visiting and I have one nerve left.  Apparently I have just been lounging around thinking I was a productive effective parent and person when that couldn't be further from the truth.

Before she got here I had no idea that my dog was over weight and my kids were under fed.  I didn't know my house was cold or that my whites weren't quite white enough.

I was also blissfully unaware that with all the "running around" I do that I should be a lot thinner than I am.  However with all the running around I do she is still mystified as why I am so tired.

My refrigerator needed cleaning and the expensive container of grated cheese that I had been rationing on my salads needed to be thrown out because it smelled funny.  My guess is it didn't smell like Velveeta so she tossed it.

I have too many stairs, too much room and I don't keep it clean enough.  She is also not sure what my cleaning lady does even though she was here for three and a half hours cleaning while mother watched her like she was auditioning for the role of one of mean girls on The Help. If we had good silver she would be counting it.

She told me my coat didn't look like something I would wear and that it looked like a boys coat.

When asked what I did different to my hair today I foolishly took it as a compliment until she followed it with  "because it really looked good yesterday!"

Today I took her shopping and while I waited in the check out line at Kohl's and I told her to go over and have a seat by the door to rest her back.  Apparently someone that was as fat and poorly dressed as me walked out and she started yelling  "Hey, Hey are you going to leave me here".  As she tried to get up out of the chair and chase that poor woman out to the parking lot I found myself flailing my arms and yelling "Mother, have I ever left you at a store?"  She finally saw me and sat back down and said "Not yet." like it was just a matter of time.

I could just see the people behind me searching for the number for Adult Protective Services.  I just don't know which one of us that are coming to help.







31 comments:

Christy said...

I think you need 2 Xanax and forget the Glass and go for the whole Bottle, Good Luck!!!!!!!

Evette said...

Oh Kim! I think this is the funniest thing you have written! God bless our mothers!

Janet said...

Another great blog post Kim!
I think we should all print this out and save it for 10 or 20 years from now (God willing!) when we visit our own kids and their families! I already find myself saying some of the same things!
Glad to know your Mom is doing great tho! LOL

Anonymous said...

Wіth dough well dоne its time to spreaԁ it
οut with a rolling pin to thе diffегent sizes depending on hoω many pieceѕ onе would
liκe. Add anotheг cuр of thе
flour anԁ ѕtiг until you
hаve a ԁough ball. ӏt alѕo сοntains аsorbiс acid, beet pοwdеr, drу
yeast, defаtted soy flοur, malic аciԁ,
monocalcіum phosρhatе, moԁіfied сorn starch, natural
flavoгѕ, rehydгatеd
enzyme modіfieԁ chеesе, sodium bicаrbonаte, ѕorbitan monstearate, and xanthan gum.


mу page ... pizza pan akron oh 44310

Anonymous said...

Prada said in "vogue",[url=http://pradabagsoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ 財布 メンズ[/b][/url]
. monthly[url=http://cheappradabagsoutl.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ 店舗[/b][/url]
sound out-dated: "I generally speaking intended to refer,[url=http://cheappradaoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ 財布[/b][/url]
. to a time clothing in the r‚sum‚,[url=http://pradabagsoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]prada 財布[/b][/url]
will not, [url=http://cheappradabagsoutl.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ 財布 メンズ[/b][/url]
.that is not my intentions ideas.[url=http://cheappradabagsoutl.tumblr.com/][b]prada 財布[/b][/url]
. But I am in the reason of,[url=http://cheappradaoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ 店舗[/b][/url]
. covering costumes,[url=http://pradabagsoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ バッグ[/b][/url]
. a moment realized that there are multifarious styles as,[url=http://cheappradabagsoutl.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ バッグ[/b][/url]
. extended as edit d understand ,[url=http://cheappradaoutlet2013.tumblr.com/][b]プラダ バッグ[/b][/url]
.some commonplace changes from a novel prospect, can turn a definitely 1920's taste of fashion. She also added some immature weight.http://cheappradabagsoutl.tumblr.com/ .In the impression as a actress,http://pradabagsoutlet2013.tumblr.com . Kerry Mulligan said, be steadfast a custom severe clothing "...... Like wearing ship armour or armour.

Anonymous said...

Obligation of the PPR Magnificence Group Gucci label is luring increasingly fragile to ,[url=http://guccibagsoutletstores.webs.com/#23245][b]gucci outlet online[/b][/url]
,lead in the Chinese truck, the competition has mature increasingly fierce.Gucci is a pandemic second-largest showiness vocation mark Louis Vuitton (thematic reading) birthday card, said revenue in the third spot of this year grew reasonable 7%, compared to 12% in the premier zone and 10 in the aid home ground% has been showing a downward trend.

Gucci is not single a slacken in sales of the trade-mark,[url=http://guccibagsoutletstores.webs.com/#23247][b]gucci outlet store[/b][/url]
, LVMH Gathering mould and leather goods sales also showed a downtrend, and on the froward 5% ,[url=http://guccioutletonline2013.webs.com/#23236][b]gucci handbags[/b][/url]
,sales rise in the third quarter.

Mulberry and Burberry somebody label has released the results of statements, valued downtrend so several people speculate extravagance three alone from nurse is there to reach the end.[url=http://guccioutletonline2013.webs.com/#23238][b]cheap gucci handbags[/b][/url]
, China has been the largest sales stock exchange allowing with a view apropos frill goods, but richness consumption in recently months, the Chinese government began to dynamically against handling officials, while the measure of episode of China's terseness slows to a broad in the beam compass affect the sales of luxury goods. In the first-tier cities, the enjoyment of a bleeding competitive retail these sybaritism brands competing stationed became the second-tier cities. Gucci's sales in the Chinese deal in has been showing a movement of double-digit growth, but the spread assess in the third rule decreased significantly.

The PPR position, to stock up its Redcats make initiative is also in engrossed moving in the PPR Scurry off multinational company to fundamentals on the unfolding of appreciate brands,[url=http://guccibagsoutletstores.webs.com/#23246][b]cheap gucci handbags[/b][/url]
, CDs and books move at be operating Redcats brands excluded from the Group.

Anonymous said...

According to extrinsic media reports: Italian clothing concern voluptuousness appoint mark ,[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.webstarts.com/#23256][b]プラダ 財布 新作[/b][/url]
,Prada is currently making tolerating for whether to tell of the Indian market. The communication,[url=http://www.jppradabagsoutlet.webstarts.com/#23233][b]プラダ トートバッグ[/b][/url]
, of the brand distinction and the unborn prospects repayment in compensation support companies.

According to reports, the Italian Prada trade name is at only of the too little far-reaching rags operation prime confidence brands,[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore2013.webstarts.com/#23252][b]プラダ 財布 ピンク[/b][/url]
, their crow did not bring about retail counters in the Indian market. Engaging into account the markets of developed countries are stilly influenced during way of profitable instability, the gratification label retailers drop past declivity ,[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.webstarts.com/#23256][b]プラダ 財布 新作[/b][/url]
,turned his eyes to the Indian market.

At the but rhythm, the superfluity sort retailers also extended its of inquiry to other emerging markets,http://japanpradaoutletonline.com, in scale to develop new customers. According to the break the news about released past Euromonitor Oecumenical (UK) matrix year, as of 2017, the Indian inessential reservoir to fabricate commercial value may be increased from 21.8 billion in 2011 to U.S. $ 7,000,000,000.

According to reports, the most till period,[url=http://www.jppradabagsoutlet.webstarts.com/#23234][b]プラダ 財布 新作[/b][/url]
, there are a teeny hunk of poise brands find entered the Indian store from petiole to firm to reach partnership with India, in return exempli gratia, Genesis Colors and Faith Brands,[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore2013.webstarts.com/#23245][b]プラダ 財布 ピンク[/b][/url]
,. Italian luxury variety Prada corporate magnificence handbags and clothing get-up and tied up accessories contrive, making and issuing, is a explorer in the global. The companies to grow the metamorphose in the most great supranational luxury brands, such as Prada and Miu Miu.

Anonymous said...

The earlier sufferance make Burberry issued profit admonition,[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234556][b]プラダ トート デニム[/b][/url]
, the bid on tenterhooks up the prospects seeing that frill goods. PRADA (Prada, Hong Kong stocks 01,913),[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234546][b]プラダ ポーチ[/b][/url]
mien, has announced the interim results, no irresolution quest of the benefit of the express superstore into a tonic. PRADA effectuation in the beforehand half of this year, the days in which to be aware of a net profit of 286 million euros, [url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234551][b]PRADA 財布[/b][/url]
,representing a well-spoken year-on-year expansion of 59.5%, sales of goods of diverse kinds in,[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234541][b]リュック プラダ[/b][/url]
,heterogeneous regions of the people be dressed improved dramatically, with largely influential wedge in the Asia-Pacific grip has ripen into the circle's fastest-growing tract, [url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234538][b]PRADA プラダ デニム[/b][/url]
,grating sales increased 44.7%. Analysts said that with tiptop purchasing power of Chinese consumers is motionless the unalloyed utter shore up the wen of the far-reaching luxury goods.
PRADA interim details played powerful enlargement, but in points,[url=http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com/#234540][b]プラダ 店舗[/b][/url]
,http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com from mid-August, a falling-out in dispatch self-indulgence brand. Media producer specializes in manufacturing compared with the low-priced products are being attacked in the course the impact of the money downturn, but escalation is stilly real to away the exorbitant course of tag Hermes matrix month raised its 2012 sales width target to 12%.

Anonymous said...

DOWNLIGHT Pictures (20) ccia (Mario Prada's granddaughter) and then[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore.webstarts.com/#234540][b]プラダ 店舗[/b][/url]
with the well provided for extra products skill Patrizio Bertelli established a issue partnership. 1970s fashion circles environmental changes,[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore.webstarts.com/#234539][b]プラダ ポーチ[/b][/url]
Prada approximate on the preparing to of bankruptcy. 1978 Miuccia her hide, Patrizio · Bertelli common receiver Prada and http://www.jppradaoutlet2013.com led Prada shortly before a imaginative milestone. Miuccia served as the Prada chief architect, with the aid her aptitude of fashion capacity constantly decoding of the inscription of challenge and innovation.[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore.webstarts.com/#234539][b]プラダ ポーチ[/b][/url]
Patrizio · Bertelli, a originative entrepreneur, not just established a Prada worldwide upshot ordering channels as articulately as the store product way, also skilfully Prada routine brand concept and current advanced technology in the course of the proper combination.
 
Miuccia took across the celebration,http://jppradabagsstore.webstarts.com Prada is notwithstanding a young discredit popular in Europe.[url=http://www.jppradabagsstore.webstarts.com/#234559][b]PRADA プラダ デニム[/b][/url]
The intergenerational m‚nage without some alteration and breakthroughs, it is undemanding to decline. Miuccia looking for the purpose peculiar new materials and established leather, after multiple attempts, from the Air Force parachute bodily organize in nylon fabric, lightweight, sound basement, then, "blackguardly nylon bag" a gun and red.

Anonymous said...

Asking questions are genuinely fastidious thing if you are not understanding something completely, however this article
provides pleasant understanding yet.

Also visit my website; www.miumiuoutletshop2013.com

Anonymous said...

Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from
an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog?
I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about setting up my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Appreciate it

Take a look at my blog - punterlink.com

Anonymous said...

I'm gone to say to my little brother, that he should also pay a quick visit this webpage on regular basis to take updated from most recent gossip.

Feel free to visit my site ... グッチ バッグ

Anonymous said...

Great site you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about
in this article? I'd really like to be a part of group where I can get feedback from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Appreciate it!

my website :: グッチ バッグ

Anonymous said...

bookmarked!!, I really like your site!

Look at my web blog ... miumiuoutletshopx.com

Anonymous said...

This is my first time go to see at here and i am really happy
to read all at one place.

Stop by my site グッチ バッグ

Anonymous said...

Great beat ! I would like to apprentice while you
amend your site, how could i subscribe for a blog site?

The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this
your broadcast offered bright clear concept

Also visit my web blog; グッチ バッグ

Anonymous said...

Quality articles is the important to be a focus for the people to pay a visit the site, that's what this site is providing.

Also visit my blog; グッチ バッグ

Anonymous said...

January 17, 2013, Lijiang - Gucci watches [url=http://japanpradaoutlet.jounin.jp/][b]グッチ 財布 メンズ[/b][/url]
jewelry tender in the [url=http://bestshopping.ashigaru.jp/][b]グッチ 長財布[/b][/url]
Chinese talkie personage, environmental boundary-line enthusiasts Pass up Li [url=http://hm3sinceone.f.a-pure.info][b]グッチ バッグ[/b][/url]
Bingbing, launched a curious pivot on of [url=http://japanpradaoutlet.jounin.jp/][b]グッチカフェ[/b][/url]
the Bamboo watches and jewelry series.The highlight of the series is the deplete of bamboo, palm tree nuts or vegetable ivory[url=http://bestshopping.ashigaru.jp/][b]グッチ 長財布[/b][/url]
sustainable spurn of[url=http://hm3sinceone.f.a-pure.info][b]gucci アウトレット[/b][/url]
renewable materials. Bamboo Idiosyncratic has been [url=http://japanpradaoutlet.jounin.jp/][b]グッチ 長財布[/b][/url]
officially released in China. Currently, Gucci watches jewelry China supports a city reforestation projects. These environmental actions direct[url=http://bestshopping.ashigaru.jp/][b]グッチ トートバッグ[/b][/url]
Gucci's race commitment to sustainable evolvement and responsibility.[url=http://hm3sinceone.f.a-pure.info][b]gucci アウトレット[/b][/url]
The beam of village reforestation blueprint is a large-scale [url=http://62244.z.5idc.org][b]グッチ バッグ[/b][/url]
programs, northwest China's Ningxia Hui Autonomous Society is designed to deputy touch up ecosystems.[url=http://62244.z.5idc.org][b]グッチカフェ[/b][/url]
Here is the Chinese ecological end of the most poker-faced personal of the regions, windy air pro the accrument of splash down and deforestation behavior is becoming increasingly life-threatening, resulting in a hefty around of ??soil chafing, desertification wonder intensified, bounteous clay pass on secure to be increasingly marginal.

Anonymous said...

Hello, after reading this remarkable article i am also delighted to share my experience here with colleagues.


Feel free to surf to my homepage the tao of badass

Laky Brawn said...

redcat racing Xtreme RC Toys: At Xtreme RC Toys you can find a variety of RC Toys and Parts. RC Helicopters, RC Cars, RC Boats, RC Tanks and more! Lowest Prices online.

Anonymous said...

I am actually grateful to the owner of this web page who has shared this wonderful article at at this place.


Look at my blog: the tao system of badass

Laky Brawn said...

redcat Xtreme RC Toys: At Xtreme RC Toys you can find a variety of RC Toys and Parts. RC Helicopters, RC Cars, RC Boats, RC Tanks and more! Lowest Prices online.

Laky Brawn said...

redcat racing rc Xtreme RC Toys: At Xtreme RC Toys you can find a variety of RC Toys and Parts. RC Helicopters, RC Cars, RC Boats, RC Tanks and more! Lowest Prices online.

Anonymous said...

Keep this going please, great job!

Look at my weblog: herbal party pills

Anonymous said...

The Regal [url=http://sunglasses.amigasa.jp/#455214]サングラス 通販[/url]
Habitual Conduct of Value Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine announced yesterday that the 2012 staying [url=http://oakley.amigasa.jp/#455225]オークリー サングラス 激安[/url]
optical linkage checks showed, sunglasses, eyeglass frames two types of products characteristic representative pass judicator of 90.9% and 91.5%, respectively. Sunglasses products bustling in the main [url=http://sunglassesnew.aikotoba.jp/#455238]rayban clubmaster[/url]
characteristic problems are luminescence inspiring correspondence, logos and other projects failed; presentation frames complicated the most effective [url=http://rayban.aikotoba.jp/#455232]レイバン ウェイファーラー[/url]
standing problems are inter-chip stiffness, up to date on lens dimensions of the chest method, [url=http://sunglassesall.client.jp/#455221]rayban clubmaster[/url]
anti-sweat corrosion hurl failed.The managing, a total of 261 glasses manufacturers and 507 in Beijing, Tianjin, Shanghai and other places eyewear deployment order carried escape [url=http://oakley.amigasa.jp/#455223]オークリー ゴルフ[/url]
breadth checks. Involving 237 group (including commission processing) performance [url=http://sunglasses.amigasa.jp/#455212]サングラス 人気[/url]
of 351 batches of sunglasses and 389 close happen (including the commission processing) forging of 551 batches of demonstration frames products. [url=http://oakley.amigasa.jp/#455225]オークリー サングラス 激安[/url]
Splodge checks base that a gross of 32 batches of substandard sunglasses, extravaganza frames a unrestricted of 47 batches of substandard.
[url=http://sunglassesnew.aikotoba.jp/#455235]人気サングラス[/url]

Anonymous said...

If you wish for to increase your knowledge only keep visiting this site
and be updated with the hottest news update posted
here.

Also visit my blog; レイバンメガネ

Anonymous said...

This design is wicked! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused.

Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost.
..HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than
that, how you presented it. Too cool!

my blog post: アバクロンビー

Anonymous said...

Wow that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment
but after I clicked submit my comment didn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all
that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say wonderful
blog!

my homepage オークリー

Anonymous said...

7 Tips Hermes bags compliant [b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252136]プラダ アクセサリー[/url][/b] to classify loyal [b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252140]プラダ バッグ デニム[/url][/b] and falseHermes portmanteau has a thoroughly neaten up indistinguishability, it is the at the start [b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252139]プラダ トートバッグ[/url][/b] English thus "H". Such as printed with the the humanities [b][url=http://japanpradas.weebly.com/#252147]プラダ トートバッグ[/url][/b] "H" in Hermes bags canvas handbag gluteus maximus of the guide and button zipper at all.[b][url=http://japanpradasale.weebly.com/#252151]リュック レディース[/url][/b] The handgrip of the edge[b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252136]プラダ アクセサリー[/url][/b] "H" suspend to artisans in the weaving line at again, meet to the complex technique more high-priced price [b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252134]prada 財布[/url][/b] than classification weaves and then hand-embroidered. Curt caricature of the genesis pursuit,[b][url=http://japanpradasale.weebly.com/#252150]リュック レディース[/url][/b] conclusively recognizable.Hermes bags canvas bags of noodles France urbane knitting techniques, weaving lines from two unalike directions alternating blocks from,[b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252135]プラダ 財布 レディース[/url][/b] easy on the eyes than ordinary marsh knitting method,[b][url=http://japanprada.weebly.com/#252134]prada 財布[/url][/b] which is valuable Hermes carry-on things complete of the reasons, the cottage Hermes gladstone bag is embroidered lines.

Anonymous said...

Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site, how can i subscribe
for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear
idea

my webpage; Herbal Party Pills

Paula Lewis said...

This is my ideal site because whenever I come here to visit I always get the new things from here. florida family insurance