Thursday, August 9, 2012

Run Away Parents

Every now and then as parents we just want to run away from home.  If you have kids and have never thought of just hoping in the car , getting a hotel room and ordering an obnoxious amount of room service then I don't trust you.  If there aren't times when you need a break then you aren't doing it right.

Raising children is the most exhausting and rewarding job in the world. It's the only job where you can get hired with absolutely no experience and no skills.  There are no performance reviews, pay, sick days or vacations.  The only people giving you feedback are people who think they could do a better job than you. These are usually the people that gave birth to your spouse.

Success rates vary and though you may do the exact same job with each of your kids you may get totally different results.  It is also the only job where the longer you are on the job the dumber you are presumed to be.

Think about it.  If you have been a bank teller for 19 years the people around you are probably convinced that you know what you are doing.  Experience is supposed to validate your skills and garner respect.

Parenting on the other hand is the exact opposite.  In the beginning these little cherubs think you know everything, they want to live with you forever and they cry when you leave.

By the teenage years you have become this embarrassing person that they tolerate because you have money and a car. You don't know anything.  After they take drivers education you don't even know how to drive even though you have been shuttling them around for years and they obviously aren't dead yet.

Even though I have graduated college and successfully navigated the world for the last 47 years they act as if my accomplishments were a matter of luck.

The very best part is that they think they are going to do things so much differently.  It is all going to be easier for them.  They are never going to yell at their kids or hide in the van to get away from them.  (FYI that only works a few times before they figure it out.)  They will always have the perfect job , perfect friends and the perfect life.  I know this because this is what they tell me as they look at me with pity as if to say "Poor mom, if we had raised her she would have turned out so much better".

Now all that is left to do is to sit back and wait.  Wait for the newborn wails of my first grandchild.  Patiently I will sit back as they grow and learn and on the day when I get the phone call that says "they think they know everything" I will rest.  From intellect to stupidity and back is the real circle of life.

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