Thursday, January 26, 2012

Cardiac A-Breast

Today as I was driving to work I thought I was having a heart attack.  Every time I took a deep breath I had a sharp pain in the middle of my chest. "This is it" I thought.  This was my payback for all the Doritos and cheeseburgers.  The time had come to face the music for the treadmill collecting dust in my basement.

I remembered that after my dad had his heart attack that I had started carrying an emergency aspirin in my purse.  However that was about thirty or forty purse changes ago and I couldn't for the life of me (no pun intended) remember where it was.

Then it occurred to me that I don't have an emergency person.  I am divorced and my oldest child is away at college.  They would have to start calling random numbers in my phone.  What if I needed a heart catheterization?  Had I shaved my legs in the shower this morning? I really should have made my friend Tara my go to person but she is in Chicago.  Why was it I had someone designated to pluck my random chin hairs but not one to make the big decisions? Then I was back to where in the name of all that was holy had I put that emergency aspirin?

This all occurred in about three minutes.  Just before I was ready to call and leave the "goodbye" voice mail I realized that I wasn't having a heart attack.  My under wire had come out of my bra and was poking me in the chest. Talk about a massive adrenaline letdown.

What I thought was going to be a life altering day turned out to be just another reminder of why I need to go bra shopping.....and find my emergency aspirin.

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