Sunday, August 21, 2011

Virgins With A 4.0 GPA

It seems every time I turn around someone is trying to convince me that my kids are growing up and are going to be corrupted by the world.  I chose not to believe this.  Don't get me wrong I am well aware of the realities I just CHOSE not to embrace them.

I have had the birth control, drinking and drugs talk more than once. In fact when the kids were little there was a television commercial that said "talk to you kids about drugs".  Each time it ran I would yell for the kids to come here and I would say "kids don't do drugs, they said on t.v. that we should talk about it".  They would roll their eyes and walk away.  After a while when I was watching t.v.and would yell for them they would just yell back "We know Mom, don't do drugs, we get it".  See I did my job.

But now that they are heading out into the real world I have chosen to purchase a home in the great state of Denial.  It is a tranquil place where all moms would love to live.  In Denial, all your kids are virgins with 4.0 GPAs.  I have purchased a charming cottage and I am going to reside there for as long as possible.

Several people have tried to discourage me from relocating.  I say if they want to live in the land of unprotected sex and academic probation, let them be.  When it becomes too much just come on over to Denial where I will be waiting on the porch with a shot of Vodka and a change of address card.

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