Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Define Emergency

As most couples do, my husband and I disagree from time to time. Over the years our most heated arguments have been over what constitutes an emergency. For example:

When long distance was being charged by the minute instead of the lovely unlimited plans we have now I would find myself sitting across the kitchen table from him as he went thru the long distance bill line by line.

"Why in the world did you call your mother at 8:49 p.m and then call her again at 8:54 p.m.?" he would demand to know.

Considering the phone bill shows calls from the last month I had no earthly idea the reason for these calls or the other 60 that trailed along the pages.

"I don't know but it must have been an emergency". Emergency for me might have been calling to ask what spices to put in my meatloaf and calling back five minutes later to find out what temperature to set the oven on. I was a newlywed so to me that seemed like an emergency. Having eaten my cooking you would have assumed he would consider this an emergency as well.

Apparently he was more frugal than he was hungry.

As the first cellphones became available he purchased one for my car. It was a huge black bag phone that looked like luggage. I received stern warnings that this was only to be used during an emergency. He considered an emergency to be if I was involved in an accident and trapped in a vehicle and their was no one around that I could convince to use their cellphone to call for help.

I considered an emergency to be the time I found the cutest outfit at a garage sale that I just knew would fit my friend Larissa's daughter next year at Easter. I had to call her while I held onto the outfit so she could hurry over and buy it. I was saving the tradition of Easter and being thrifty. I was baffled by his lack of understanding.

Let's just say we now had two phone bills to go thru each month. It was a very painful process.

The use of the credit card became our third disagreement over what should be considered an emergency. He explained thru clenched teeth that a credit card worthy emergency would be profuse bleeding or car maintenance. For example if the wheel fell off the car that would be an emergency. If the car then fell on my leg and I was bleeding that would be an emergency as well.

I considered use of the credit card to be an emergency when I found the last pair of black boots in my size on sale at the end of the season. Not only did I believe this find to be an emergency but a sign from God that I needed to get these boots! How could any rational human being not understand this statement that was so clearly filled with logic?

As we continue our journey as a couple I am sure we will have many more kitchen table debates over the definition of emergency. I just hope he is able to grasp the true definition of emergency before all the end of season sales are over.

Maybe I should buy him a dictionary with the emergency credit card.

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