Monday, July 2, 2012

Ambien Ambush

Being a middle aged woman knee deep in the wonderful world of peri-menopause I often find myself having great difficulty sleeping.  It has always been difficult to turn my mind off and slip into a peaceful slumber but now it is even harder. I start out worrying about what I need to get done tomorrow and end up worrying about whether Kaitlyn on Teen Mom 2 is really pregnant. I mean how can I go to sleep until I know the answer to that question.

To combat the dark circles and endless fatigue brought about by my chronic late night worrying my doctor prescribed the wonder drug Ambien.  Ambien is a sleep aid that allows you to fall asleep shortly after taking it and awaken 7 hours later feeling refreshed and ready to face the world.  There is only one teeny tiny problem with this drug. Sometimes you find yourself  ordering things on Ebay or agreeing to things that you barely remember. More than once I have received a package in the mail and upon opening it realize that it is an Ambien fog purchase.  It's like Christmas. Some days I wake up to a Nestle Drumstick wrapper on the night stand and realize that the munchies have invaded my 
Ambien induced sleep. I guess all that late night shopping makes me hungry.

Recently I awakened to find that I had agreed to let one of my son's friends move in with us.  Now when I am awake and mindful of my decisions my main goal is to get rid of the kids I all ready have.  Get them educated, employed and living anywhere but my basement. That is my plan and I work it like an alcoholic works the twelve steps.   But apparently I am much more accommodating when I am in an Ambien fog.

Knowing this I think my children have begun to Ambien ambush me.  Their game plan is to ask me questions after I have gone to bed so the chance of me being under the influence of Ambien is much greater.  I don't take Ambien every night so they are taking a gamble relying on this strategy.  But if they know the answer to their question during the day is most certainly no, they increase their odds with a bedtime request.

I guess I am going to have to institute a new policy that no decisions regarding money, move ins or major life decisions can be made between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m. If any decisions are made  during these hours they must be seconded by me after I have awakened and had my first diet coke of the day.  It is no secret that teens will take advantage of you when they get the chance. I guess it is up to me to meet the Ambien ambush head on.


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