Lori is the Queen in my book.

Last night my friend Laurie sat and glued pipe cleaners on foam visors for me. I was on my very last nerve when I realized that these were needed for tomorrow's pictures of the King and I at Glengary Elementary. I had one leg over the balcony when she took them and just sat down and did them. That is a true friend. She saw a need and she met it. I am very blessed to have those kind of people in my life and I thank God every day for them. So even though she is a Debbie Gibson fan I am going to count my blessings for her any way. Love you Lori!!!!

It's all crashing around me....

Well in the last week I have dropped my cell phone in the toilet and crashed my computer. I haven't felt so lost since Mike Tracey broke up with me in college. I just wander around and wonder what's going on in the world and what every one's phone number is. It is very humbling.

I dropped my cell phone in the toilet at the Cracker Barrel. I dove in and tried to revive it but after it dried out it just wasn't strong enough to make it. I will admit that I had forgotten it was on my lap and dropped it on the garage floor several times but I thought I had a few good years left in it. Since I don't have my old numbers I couldn't call my hairdresser , my nail tech or my doctor. I am walking around with roots , chipped nails and no emergency Xanax. It is not a pretty site. I see other people with their phones and get weepy remembering all the good times we had. Like the time I left it in the shoe department in Macy's and the little Asian lady kept answering it for me and taking messages. My brother called me and spoke with her and then called home and left a hostage message. Finally the lady turned the phone off and proclaimed to me, "You very popular girl. You have many calls." I think she was overwhelmed. Well welcome to my country and my world little Asian lady.

The computer crashed and I had to listen to the "what did you do to it " speech that I hear every time something breaks. I was waiting for the call when the World Trade Center came tumbling down because as Steve will tell you things don't just break. Anyway, we are now in the process of looking for a new computer but between Australia payments , class rings, baseball fees and all life's other necessities I think I will be getting a legal pad and a No. 2 pencil. So for now I am bootlegging and blogging on the computers of my rich friends. Please be patient with me. Don't stay awake nights worrying that the drama of my life had ceased. There is still plenty of drama I just can't get it to you very conveniently. P.S. Grandma Jackie, if ya'll have an extra computer lying around I'll trade you a legal pad for it..

With one splash I am cut off from my little world.

And the grammy goes to ...

Kim Eller, for automobile audio. That was my dream as I was driving to Chicago this past weekend. I was in the car alone for the first time in ages and was able to listen to all the songs on my ipod. I was putting on my own little concert which I am sure looked like to oncoming traffic as someone have an epileptic seizure to music. I was singing at the top of my lungs to everything from Toby Keith's greatest hits to the soundtrack of You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. By the time I got there I was hoarse but very invigorated from the realization of what it will be like one day to have my car back. Even we all that fun happening there were three times when I really missed my kids. When I realized at the three toll booths that I would have to dig thru my purse for toll money instead of just yelling "Dig thru the ash trash and get me 80 cents, HURRY!!! I was very sad. There is something to be said for all the little things you can get your kids to do for you even if they have an attitude about it. I will probably be upstairs yelling for someone to let the dog out long after they have gone.

Well, well,well have seen it all..

Yesterday I am riding in the car and my friend Jennifer called to tell me that there was a man on Oprah that is pregnant. Needless to say this is hard to process at any speed but even more difficult at 60 mph. I peppered her with questions like how , what do you mean, when ,where, does he/she have a ...., . She knew no specifics just the basic fact. In her defense I was almost as shocked that she had gotten to watch Oprah as I was about the pregnant man. She has a five year old, a three year old and a three week old so you can understand my amazement.

But back to the man. Let me just say for the record if you have a uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries you are NOT a MAN!!!!! You are just very, very confused woman. But wait ,before you think the confusion stops there he/she was married. Now the true test of his sexuality will not come until after he/she gives birth. If the baby cries and he/she rolls over and makes his wife get up to feed it..he is a man. If he gets up and feeds it...he/she is a woman. If he/she deals with the pain like a trouper, he is a woman. If he/she cries out from the first contraction and is sure he/she is going to die..he is a man. If he/she goes back to work, leaves his wife home with the baby and comes home at five and ask her why she hasn't showered or made dinner...he's not only a man but a dead man. Stay tuned because I will following this story very carefully and will keep you posted.